Thursday, March 17, 2011

TYRONE'S ROOM


TYRONE’S ROOM
_______________________________


“the desire which
was rising in me
seemed monstrous…”
—James Baldwin,
Giovanni’s Room

Tyrone

Suddenly I felt—
The power of his smooth thighs
His long strong legs.

It made me afraid—
That body of my brother’s
Its black mystery.

I was falling down—
A dark elevator shaft
Into his manhood.

I knew it would drive
Me mad & torture me with
Promise & desire.

His loose nutsac grew—
Tighter as I sucked him off
Tyrone’s eyes closed tight.

Dinge Queen

It was a dual hell—
Being in love with Tyrone
My brother & lover.

I could feel myself—
Mirrored in body sameness
Both of us young males.

A strange encounter—
One of us black & the other whitey
A dirty white boy.

Each homo love scene—
Brought me closer to being
Dinge queen for Tyrone.

My black kid brother—
Twice as endowed as I was
And two years younger.

Coming Back Home

Funny how I felt—
Like I’d always been running
Away from myself.

That something had been—
Misplaced, somehow forgotten
Maybe on purpose…

But now I felt like—
Some intimation of self
Was coming my way.

It was the same self—
I’d been running away from
And yet here he was.

He was right here now—
Here under this roof of ours
Tyrone here at home!!!

Doing the Down-Low

So, I embraced it—
My new imaginative
Physical Double.

I became Tyrone—
Black & gay identity
All wrapped into one.

Tyrone became me—
Each jizzy mulatto wad
Made me more Negro.

I felt myself change—
My pale white albino skin
Started turning dinge.

Each time I blew him—
And swallowed his tart dickwad
I started turning…

Getting Tyrone Off

My penis turned black—
Tyrone’s cum had queered me bad
It turned licorice!!!

I was simply shocked—
Tyrone said I deserved it
Cocksucking that way.

It was just awful!!!—
Awfully nice because it
Started growing too.

Tyrone was endowed—
He had at least 12 inches
I only had six…

But then sucking it—
Doing the down-low on him:
Dinge doppleganger!!!

Tyrone’s Testosterone

It grew to seven—
And then even eight inches!!!
It felt real good too.

Being a size queen—
Soon I could do what he did:
Self-fellatio!!!

I became tainted—
By the queer act of blow-jobs
His cum & my own.

The more I got soiled—
Turning my dick chocolate
The better I felt.

I became Tyrone’s—
Black penis, new symbol of
Queer homo Whiteness…

Ditching Whiteness

I escaped from it—
I divested myself from
My own Whiteness.

I flew from Whiteness—
And I embraced my Blackness
With each Negro wad.

It explored me and—
Conquered me, a long journey
Into dinge darkness.

Tyrone’s skin was beige—
He had red pubes like mother
He was high yellow.

But his young penis—
Was as dark as the Ace of Spades
Just like his father.

New Notions of Blackness

A visitation—
Fearful longings & desires
I felt different.

Tyrone didn’t care—
He didn’t try to force me
Into a closet.

Not like the Whites did—
All the bullies & teachers
Wanting to “guilt” me.

Tyrone engendered—
New notions of Blackness and
Dingehood love, romance.

Simultaneous—
Black-gay subjectivities
Bringing it back home.

Inverting the Flight

Some feel misgivings—
Homosexuality
It be pain for them.

Who wants to be that—
Gay protagonist always
Running away scared?

Don’t ask, don’t tell them—
Who you really are but keep
Keep it in closet.

Until you become—
Somebody you really aren’t
And don’t like that much.

Instead of changing—
Transforming yourself into
Somebody you love?

Tyrone’s Room

Didn’t wanna run—
Not like I used to wanna
Run away from it.

Got into black lit—
African & Pagan Gay
Black Literature.

Sexual sameness—
And textual differences
Between me & straights

Reading living texts—
Brother to brother writings
Baldwin, Essex Hemphill

Read Gertrude Stein—
On Patriarchal Old Pricks
Supremacist dicks.

Orphée & Heurtebise

Tyrone was my guide—
My Orphée & Heurtebise
Down to Darkness.

He was my brother—
And he was my lover too
Got me there & back.

After awhile then—
It wasn’t really about
Homosexuals.

It was about what—
Happens to you when you’re in
Love with somebody.

Which is, well, kinda—
Much more interesting than
Just being homo.

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