Thursday, October 27, 2011

Mandingo Diary


Robert Mapplethorpe, Man in Polyester Suit

Mandingo Diary
____________

Prelude
Mulatto Freshman
Shocked Roommate
Kingfish Cocksucker
Closet Colored Boy
Mandingo Boy
Bad Seed
Dinge Queen
Creole Kid
Delta Lit

__________________

Prelude

the sprained ankle—
that wouldn’t heal, the
pain, swelling

the weakness—
in my knees when
i saw mapplethorpe’s

man in polyester suit—
the injury i felt, so
afro-american vernacular

so ashamed of dinge—
yet my gay size queen
sensibility yearned for it

Mulatto Freshman

i was beating off—
in the freshman dorm
i needed it bad

i couldn’t help it—
i had to get off so
i skipped classes

my roommate—
came back early
thru the locked door

just as i was—
spluging my brains
out on the wall

i grabbed a towel—
limped the best way
i could to the showers

Shocked Roommate

“jeeze!!!" i heard—
my roommate say to all
the guyz in the dorm

“denny’s gotta big—
black 10” fuckin prick
a big nigger dick!!!”

all them wanted to—
see it, i was so awfully
embarrassed, ashamed

all of them size-queens—
for dinge dick, it was so
very tacky & lame

now they all knew—
the awful dinge truth
i be a mulatto boy!!!

Kingfish Cocksucker

i was more than—
embarrassed, i had to
drop outta school

discrimination—
still ruled the delta
bourbon university

next year things—
changed & integration
kicked into campus life

but still i knew—
the shame of guyz in
the dorm staring at me

that’s how i ended up—
in tiger town in a dumpy
chimes street apartment

Closet Colored Boy

my beautiful redhead—
mother had pale skin,
freckles, hollywood looks

her first husband—
suspected it since her
birth certificate was gone

it was sealed away—
by the adoption court and
something was hidden

mother didn’t wanna—
know, all the records had
supposedly been burned

then i was born—
like bon the beautiful
and the secret was out!!!!

Mandingo Boy

it all came out then—
the court records unsealed
then a nasty divorce

like ike mccaslin—
the ledgers didn’t lie
i was a mandingo boy

mommy dearest had—
a nigger in the woodpile
dinge shame in the closet

and it came out in me—
the look on my father’s face
when he saw a black penis

the same look on sutpen—
on my roommate’s face in
the dorm, shock of shocks!!!

Bad Seed

living with it—
hiding it, finally it
just had to come out

young adam be black—
the same with cain, able
moses be black too

black osiris—
they worshipped him
nile luxor temples

black jesus—
up there on the cross
bloody loincloth hard

original sin—
plunging me deep into
male miscegenal guilt

Dinge Queen

it was bad enough—
trying to pass whitey
but i was queer too

i got it from both—
blacks & whites for
being who i was

i got turned on by—
young black janitors
who had my number

by sweaty dudes—
with machetes working
in the cane fields

i got to know cute—
muscular hospital guyz
who were orderlies

Creole Kid

i met this kid—
he was a cute creole
guy who lived next door

his girlfriend left him—
he started hanging out
with me, smoking dope

his dark complexion—
came from an old family
vieux carré aristocracy

that’s when i found out—
about creole “free blacks”
during the civil war

he was smart & smooth—
like pecan pralines and
he loved to french-kiss

Delta Lit

pretty soon we were—
living together, getting
high, getting off

my black shame gone—
black creole, black cajun,
negro guyz were in

that’s when i became—
a yoknapatawpha devotee
delta bourbon lit for me

miss faulkner my guide—
she knew the gay cognoscenti
down in the old big easy

absalom was the key—
then moses, light in august
all of delta lit came to me



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