AS I LAY DYING III

AS I LAY DYING III

Vardaman

“Are you going to
nail her up in it?”
—William Faulkner,
As I Lay Dying

when cash finishes it—
they’ll put her in the coffin
for a long, long time.

I couldn’t say it—
but I saw the dark dead stand
up & whirl away.

I got shut up once—
the crib door trapped me in there
I couldn’t get out.

and I couldn’t breathe—
cause the rats were breathing up
all the air in there.

they’re gonna put her—
in the coffin, nail it up
for who knows how long?

pa walks around blind—
his shadow follows him around
the planks are bleeding.

the saw sounds asleep—
snoring away in the wood
then they’ll nail her in.

it’s not her laying—
dying under the quilt in
her old bedroom bed.

it’s not her laying—
dying now in the coffin
there in the wagon.

Tull

“I be durn if it
didn’t give me
the creeps.”
—William Faulkner,
As I Lay Dying

“it was raining hard—
cats & dogs, buckets of it
addie bundren’s gone.”

“peabody’s mule team—
all lathered up, neck-yokes broke
addie bundren’s gone.”

“probably midnight—
storm out there comin’ down hard
addie bundren’s gone.”

“somebody knocking—
knocking at the door real late
addie bundren’s gone.”

“it’s the bundren boy—
little drowned rat vardaman
addie bundren’s gone.”

“lucky I’m married—
such a christian woman
addie bundren’s gone.”

“hitch up the team, tull—
I reckon cora’s right ‘bout
addie bundren’s gone.”

“the boy looks at me—
like an owl with big round eyes
addie bundren’s gone.”

“cora takes off his—
wet clothes by the nice warm stove
addie bundren’s gone.”

“cora dries him off—
the poor little naked boy
addie bundren’s gone.”

“he rides between us—
under her shawl, umbrella
addie bundren’s gone.”

“ain’t right but durn it—
cora makes it right i guess
addie bundren’s gone.”

“ain’t nailed her in yet—
by the time we get up there
addie bundren’s gone.”

“the lord has decreed—
something to us i guess so
addie bundren’s gone.”

“anse stands there waitin’—
gaunt, scary like a scarecrow
addie bundren’s gone.”

“cash himself half-dead—
laying asleep on the floor
addie bundren’s gone.”

“I guess all of us—
suffer like little children
addie bundren’s gone.”

“our only burden—
putting up with our sad-selves
addie bundren’s gone.”

Cash

“The lantern sits
on a stump.”
—William Faulkner,
As I Lay Dying

“smeared, smudged & sultry—
the lantern light sheds feeble
light on the darkness.”

“the dark coffin planks—
long smooth black trestles torn out
from the bridge of death.”

“clattering loudly—
sawing away, addie ain’t
goin’ out easy.”

“gimme that plank there—
anse’s aimless silhouette
totally useless.”

“no, the other one—
puts the saw down, comes over
sweeping pa away.”

“air smells like sulphur—
the shadowy plane of death
congealing around.”

“sheet-lightening slumbers—
the motionless trees swell-up
pregnant with young twigs.”

“it begins to rain—
against the hissing lantern
pa looks up slack-mouthed.”

“rushing thru the leaves—
the raindrops big as buckshot
tries to snuff it out.”

“cash shields the lantern—
sending pa inside to find
some kind of cover.”

“comes back with raincoats—
stands there blinking, face streaming
looks up at the sky.”

“dumb & brooding look—
outraged yet resigned to worse
gaunt expectations.”

“vernon tull’s there now—
cash tells pa to leave them now
don’t begrudge the rain.”

“pa’s face a carved mask—
savage caricaturist’s
monstrous burlesque grief.”

Darl

“How often have
I lain beneath rain
on a strange roof,
thinking of home.”
—William Faulkner,
As I Lay Dying

“here i am trying—
to go to sleep in a
strange house tonight.”

“but first i gotta—
empty myself so i can
get to sleep tonight.”

“you gotta empty—
yourself & try to become
the person you’re not.”

“and when i’m sleeping—
i never was or will be
don’t know what i am.”

“don’t know who i am—
don’t know if i’m here or not
knowing ain’t easy.”

“jewel knows who he is—
cause he doesn’t know whether
he is or is not.”

“beyond these dark walls—
i can hear the rain shaping
the wagon out there.”

“the wagon that’s theirs—
the coffin that’s ours not theirs
addie laying there.”

“the rain shapes itself—
for jewel, me & everyone
that are not asleep.”

“since sleep is is-not—
and the rain & wind are was
all of it is-not.”

“yet the wagon is—
because tull’s wagon is-was
addie bundren ain’t.”

“jewel is so much is—
that it hurts to say it’s so
so addie is too?”

“can’t empty myself—
beneath rain on a strange roof
thinking about home.”

“can’t empty myself—
so i’m stuck with who i am
rain on a strange roof.”

DARL

“Motionless, the tall
buzzards hang in
soaring circles”
—William Faulkner,
As I Lay Dying

“high above the house—
against the quick thick dark sky
hanging in circles.”

“no more than black specks—
implacable, patient
portentous death.”

“come on, jewel” I say—
“it’s not your horse that’s done dead
it’s addie bundren.”

“goddamn you, darl,”—
jewel says to me his brother
for guilting him bad.”

DARL

“We go on, with a motion
so soporific, so dreamlike
as though time and not
space were decreasing
between us & it”
—William Faulkner,
As I Lay Dying

Jewel comes down road—
Fast with the mud flying from
The drive of the hoofs.

It minces thru mud—
Passing us fast with a light
High-kneed driving gait.

Jewel riding the horse—
Sitting motionless, erect
Lightly poised upright.

The proud horse arch-necked—
Reined back to swift singlefoot
Rakish-angled hat.

While the rest of us—
Plod along in the wagon
Sullen with coffin.

He passes swiftly—
Without looking back at us
Hooves hissing in mud.

Backflinging some mud—
A blob plops onto coffin
Cash leans, wipes it off.

Anse

“But now I can
get them teeth”
—William Faulkner,
As I Lay Dying

The world ain’t easy—
Yoknapatawpha County
Outta the Lord’s Earth.

Myself a minor—
Insignificant sweaty
Piece of God’s acre.

Just a postage stamp—
Mississippi delta grief
Marginalia.

Addie hated me—
Yes, I knew that way back when
When she married me.

A New England girl—
Abolitionist woman
Hated the Deep South.

Hated Slavery—
Hated poor white trash like me
Livin’ in the sticks.

Hated teaching here—
Only enjoyed it when she
Was switching their ass.

Hated her offspring—
Except Jewel her secret cute
Whitfield love-child boy.

I knew about it—
But what could I do back then
I wanted more kids.

So Addie gave me—
Cash, Darl, Jewel, Dewey Dell,
Little Vardaman.

He doth loveth me—
He chastiseth me too
But I’ll be durn tho.

If he don’t take some—
Curious ways to show it
It seems like to me.