THE INVISIBLE BOY

THE INVISIBLE BOY
____________________

“I am an invisible man”
—Ralph Ellison,
Invisible Man

1

i grew up with it—
i wasn’t invisible
i be gay white boy.

i be whiter than—
tyrone my dinge half-brother
i be pale as arctic.

i had fag blue eyes—
bright orange orangutan pubes
i be dirty white boy.

2

"what did i do
to be so black
and blue.”
—louis armstrong

i be so blue but—
tyrone didn’t know why
not even i knew why.

but that’s a lie—
tyrone knew why i was blue
and i knew why too.

it wasn’t any—
film noir mystery movie
i be his gay brother.

3

“they shot the
white girl first.”
—toni morrison,
paradise

he be athletic—
played basketball with
the guyz after school.

holy park back then—
on martin luther king way
and othello street.

that’s where we all lived—
the welfare housing ghetto
old wwii housing.

4

i was the freak then—
the only white kid around
all the rest were black.

my mother be white—
after her whitey divorce
she married a black guy.

that’s how i grew up—
across from the safeway in
dingeville usa.

5

i should’ve been blue—
i got beat up black & blue
lots of fuckin’ times.

tyrone was there tho—
usually protecting me
his whitey older brother.

i was eighteen and—
he was sixteen when
i told him the truth.

6

my “whitey-hood” be—
the queer side of me he said
just shaking his head.

if i’d been black like him—
i would’ve been a straight dude
he said to me lots.

“there aint no such thing—
as queer black man here in
dingeville usa.”

7

he was such a smart-ass—
making an excuse for me
for his black brothers.

they knew & he knew—
all of africa knew and
america too…

the way i swished—
the way i minced to the bus
my faggoty lisp.

8

i couldn’t help it—
i be the only white boy
in the dinge ghetto.

the only nelly—
white boy there in holly park
down in the south end.

the only queer boy—
on martin luther king way
who wasn’t negro.

9



one day tyrone be—
on my case for being gay
“dirty whiteboy fag!!!”

he be sayin’ that—
toni morrison woman
nobel prize winner.

she didn’t like fags—
she say gay was a disease
a dirty whiteboy curse.

10

tyrone be reading—
that “paradise” novel of hers
the queer bashing one.

the one about “sins”—
gay “disgraceful passions”
“fleeting fag pleasures.”

they were all that way—
all of morrison’s novels
talk about sodom!!!

11

james baldwin being—
a “cocksucker” dontchaknow
just a fag writer.

toni morrison—
how could she get a nobel
and the pulitzer?

how could she be there—
the top of the nytimes
best seller list, huh?

12

how could morrison—
be such a homophobic kunt
and get paid for it?

how could she do it—
discriminate against her
own black (gay) brothers?

had the slaves become—
the new lords & masters
killing off the fags?

13

it got to be a real drag—
my only escape was to
get out, go downtown.

taking the fast-rail—
outta the fuckin’ ghetto
down to seattle.

i gotta job in—
the new library downtown
all steel & glass windows.

14

that’s how i got by—
but tyrone wouldn’t let it
simply drop that way.

he kept on my case—
about being homosexual
then i said one day:

“tyrone, you be dinge—
you be “half-white” so that means
you be half-queen too?”

15

tyrone got real pissed—
he started to beat me up
then he looked at me.

he knew i was right—
he be mulatto half-white
he gots the disease too?

he be mandingo stud—
but he be black and lonely
so i sucked him off.