TWINK 

CARNIVAL BREEZE
HUMBERT HUMBERT
JOHNNY JIZZ

BARGAIN TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
TRAMP STEAMER
DOWN SOUTH AMERICA WAY

LADY IN THE TUTTI FRUTTI HAT
THAT NIGHT IN RIO
HEART OF DARKNESS

_______________

CARNIVAL BREEZE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Otv8UppO2Uk

“Imagine the fun 
I could soon have
chaperoning one!”
—Alissa Nutting, 
TAMPA
______________

“Ever Considered a Cruise? – 
Here’s Why You Should Think Again
a Luxury Cruise is One of Life’s Pure Joys.”

The seductive Advertisement—
naturally or rather unnaturally
caught Charlotte Haze’s ogling eye
__________

Right then and there—
the poor suffering Humbert's
wife decided to make her move

She’d sign up for a cruise—
with the trashy Carnival Breeze 
chaperoning her lovey-dove
_____________

It had unmatched amenities—
and entertainment for adults and 
chicken alike, simply Heaven!!!

Its sophisticated Cloud 9 Spa—
& resort-style pool, its Internet cafe 
even a miniature golf course!!!
____________

Water-Works aqua park, plus bars—
swank lounges, music & dance venues 
throughout the vessel all day and night

Looking for some solitude? Adults on—
board can also escape to Serenity, special
adults-only retreat, room for chicken
_______________

Yes, today’s modern cruise liners—
simply engineering marvels, floating 5-star 
hotels offering the best service, cuisine

Exotic locales, with non-stop relaxation—
for those looking for male stimulation
depending on your pleasure, my dears
____________

Over the past few years, cruise companies—
have spared no expense, literally investing
billions for these jaw-dropping super ships

It was then that Charlotte made her move—
picking Johnnie Jizz* to chaperone for her
First Caribbean Carnival Breeze blowjob!!!
____________

* Johnnie Jizz aka Charlie, Lolita’s first lover, 
boy in summer camp played by Colin Maitland
______________

HUMBERT HUMBERT

“Did you gobble up—
GONE GIRL & THE DINNER
Despite the fact that all
The characters have the
Soul of a black widow spider?”
—A Letter from the Editor
TAMPA
____________

Forget Humbert, honey—
James Mason doing Sue
Lyon’s cute teen toenails

Forget Shelly Winters—
hysterically playing the
LOLITA Mommy Dearest
___________

Yes, forget Sue Lyon—
doing the hula-hoop in
front of ogling Miss Mason

Pretend instead you’re—
Charlotte Haze, widowed 
& sexually famished landlady
_________

Doing a Caribbean cruise—
the lovely Carnival Breeze
Cruise-Ship doing a jaunt

A chic juicy jizzy Jaunt—
with Lolita’s summer camp
Teenage Justin Bieber!!! 
_______________

JOHNNY JIZZ

"much, much more."
—Vladimir Nabokov, Ada
_________

As a born actress, Charlotte—
instinctively understood that the 
world was more than a stage…
it was an audience

The San Francisco Bay Area—
was a playpen of countercultures
and the boyz that grew up in
SF were wise to the world
________

It’s like an old friend who calls—
whenever he’s in town, Charlotte 
glad to hear from them, fanning the 
embers of past intimacies, buys lunch


Charlotte’s reserve of disdain—
appeared endless. She could no sooner 
shut it off than a Dracula vampire 
could forgo a juicy nightcap
______________

She practiced what has come to be 
known as gonzo-girl journalism, often 
intoxicated, doing the story as stylishly 
bizarre account mocking str8t novelists

She said she was "in" psychoanalysis—
meaning she was committed to a long 
immersion writing her own tacky juicy 
autobiography of fantasy lies & lives
_____________

No one has ever done anything—
too bad to be forgiven except for evil
Charlotte was an able practitioner of 
not so glamorous Lolita-boy glitz lit

Her novel flew like Zeno's—
paradoxical arrow, perhaps this 
was Nabokov's metaphor for the
inexhaustible magic of memory
___________________

BARGAIN TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

“Even if you’ve cruised before, 
you probably have not experienced 
anything like these new marvels!!!”
—Carnival Breeze advertisement
____________

But, the best news was that due—
to the slowdown in travel caused by 
the recession & significant overcapacity 
in the industry, it’s a great time for

Savvy travelers to book their own—
once-in-a-lifetime cruises at insanely 
low prices, like 80 percent off the brochure 
price, believe it or not, it's possible!!!
______________

Vacations To Go, one of America's largest—
Cruise Agencies, founded more than 25 
years ago, helping to realize taking a cruise 
vacation as a new experience for everybody

This year, everyone is cruising—
and for good reason after several years of 
austerity, people are realizing now that cruise 
vacations are one of the great values in travel
_________________

And so Charlotte browsed thru—
brochures of top-brand cruise vacations with
in-depth information about every cruise line 
cruise ship, comparing prices at a glance

That’s how she ended up on the—
beat-up, rundown, slow Tramp Steamer
CARNIVAL CRUISE along with her cute
little tramp Justin Bieber for their trip
___________________

TRAMP STEAMER

“a tramp steamer from 
Swansea to Para in the Brazils”
"Mr. H. M. Tomlinson," London 
Mercury Vol 16 # 94 August 1927
_____________

Nothing now is left remarkable—
except the flatness of the world with
curiosity now destroyed fatiguing 
us with what’s left: the familiar

The advertisements, recently made—
for Pleasure Cruises being ready to take 
Charlotte Haze a thousand miles up the 
Amazon into the heart of South America
_________________

Appealing to Charlotte’s sense of— 
Of adventure, penetrating so deeply into
the very heart of the obscure with its hosts 
of wingless guardians of the Great Mystery

With nothing more than her ticket—
and her chaperoned boyfriend Justin Bieber
to comfort her in darkness of the watery jungle, 
and listless throngs of young erect Indians
____________

Charlotte fingered her diaries & thought—
staring far down into the water, last year at 
Dieppe, last month at Wimbledon, last week 
at dreary dearie tres boring London Pavilion

It was not this that made Charlotte Haze—
take her journey, nor in this spirit that she 
recorded it in TEEN, her latest novel with its
scandalous tid-bits about LOLITA boylove
____________

She reveals himself in this narrative—
without being aware (I am sure) how much
of herself she is revealing & indeed without 
greatly caring, nothing wonderful happens

Everything that happens serves to—
reflect her image in motion and the cheap
events and minor revelations referring to 
her contacts with rather dull, dumb Justin 
________________

Few writers have less invention but—
few have a better imagination, seeing things
as poets do, in imaginative light, not parts 
but as wholes, not rationally but by intuition

And even as she looks she’s thinking of—
something else through which, in a moment, 
she is gazing steadily, fondly & faithfully until 
the visible is charged with the invisible

DOWN SOUTH AMERICA WAY

"You is a low down, 
no good ham!"
—Carmen Miranda
THAT NIGHT IN RIO
____________________

But to write thus of Charlotte Haze—
& her Lolita boyfriend is to begin at the end
as if the Carnival Breeze was on a  trashy 
Journey into the Heart of Darkness

The voyage of a tacky tramp steamer—
from Swansea to Para in the Brazils, then 
two thousand miles between the forests 
of the Amazon and the Madeira 
_____________

Charlotte’s story published here, there—
everywhere and nowhere, but rather a sort
grab-bag of stories, flotsam, debris, waves
moving the way a tide moves up and down 

She presents her life as a musical—
an escape from New York, a casual felicitous 
escape from the New Yorker, the Village Voice, 
the crowds, streets, winter, big city life
______________

She sees her herself as Carmen Miranda—
Singing in THAT NIGHT IN RIO (1941) 
“I, Yi, Yi, Yi, Yi (I Like You Very Much)”
her grand South American adventure

Down into the homeless tropical world—
an unhurried return to all that we’ve fled 
from, appeasing our “lust” of travel which 
all the cultured are supposed to share 
__________________

Which means no more than an appetite—
for something to keep them from thinking 
closely and feeling sharply about themselves
and all the mistakes they’ve left behind

But there was Charlotte on the deck—
doing her tacky Tramp Steamer kitschy 
renditions of Chica Chica Boom Chic, 
Mamãe Eu Quero, Cai Cai & Boa Noite 

LADY IN THE TUTTI FRUTTI HAT

“I wonder why does 
ev'rybody look at me”
—Carmen Miranda
THE GANGS ALL HERE
_____________________

The Lady in the Tutti-Frutti Hat—
some people say she dress too gay,
but ev'ry day, she feel so gay
she be so gay, she dress that way

Is something wrong with that—
Americanos tell her her hat be too high,
because I won’t take it off to kiss a guy
But if I ever start to take it off, ay, ay!
_______________

I do that once for Justin Bieber—
but he wasn’t very happy with just
that the Lady in the Tutti-Frutti Hat
he wanted lots more than just that!

You hear a lot of people saying—
"There she goes!” You see a señorita 
dressed in flashy clothes, everybody
in Rio de Janeiro, ev'rybody knows
_____________

The lady in the tutti-frutti hat—
when she begins to sing a song in 
Portuguese, the temp'rature goes up 
a hundred more degrees, oh baby!
_____________

The lady in the tutti-frutti hat—
when she begins to sing a song in 
Portuguese, the temp'rature goes up 
a hundred more degrees, oh baby!

She always has a half a dozen Romeos—
and when they come to sing a serenade, 
she throws a banana like you throw a rose
but they want more than that, honey!

THAT NIGHT IN RIO

“Have a rendezvous with 
music and gaiety!!!
A Magnificent musical 
extravaganza comes 
to the screen!!!
_________________

Charlotte travels because she is by—
nature a dreamer, she sings because she’s
by circumstance a Mexican schlock queen
her mind full of ersatz hoity-toity culture

Her tacky dreams recur & stimulate her—
again & again to fresh journeys, the breath 
of musicals breathes new life into old images
she sees new images, like figures in smoke
___________

She comes back to her early romantic—
girlhood's memories, her favorite LA divas 
like Carmen Miranda in THAT NIGHT IN RIO
singing I, Yi, Yi, Yi, Yi (I Like You Very Much)

I yi yi yi—
I yi yi yi yi yi yi
I yi yi yi yi I like you very much
I yi yi yi yi I think your grand
__________

Why why why is it that—
when I feel your touch
my heart starts to beat 
the Beat the Band!?!

I yi yi yi hold me tight—
You’re too too too too Divine
if you want to be in someone's 
arms tonight let them be mine!!!
______________

I like your lips—
and I like your eyes
do you like my hips
The way they hypnotize?

See see see see see—
the moon above
way way way way way up
in the blue?
______________

Si si seniorita I think—
I fall in love with you
and when I fall I think 
I fall for you

I yi yi yi  si si si—
I yi yi yi can you
see see see that
you're for me?

HEART OF DARKNESS 

“something candid in his stare 
at strange things, looking at them—
familiar enough to others—as though 
no one had ever seen them before”
—John Freeman, “Critical Essay,”
SOURCE: "Mr. H. M. Tomlinson," 
London Mercury, Vol. 16, No. 94, 
August, 1927, pp. 400-08

http://www.bookrags.com/criticism/h-m-tomlinson-1873-1958/4/

________________

Yet there is nothing dreamlike—
the way she tells it, and perhaps her best 
prose is given to sharp, clear & simple 
telling of simple matters aboard the steamer

The rust of an anchor, the coldness of seas—
the unexpectedness of stairs and passages 
in rough weather, these and a hundred other 
things she writes like a dizzy Charlotte Haze
______________________

Can you imagine Shelley Winters—
butching it up & not be simply hysterical,
being businesslike, reading Miss Mason’s
secret salacious sexy seductive diary?

Calling her a cow, proclaiming his love—
his incorrigible desires for his very own 
(adopted) daughter Lolita, doing her pert
little twink pussy in bed with him?
_________________

But Charlotte Haze could write if she—
had to, the tramp steamer a harsh and 
foreign thing, unfriendly to the eye, hard 
to understand, but she learned to know 

To accept her own faults & be ready for—
any change for she too like Miss Mason had
her own secret desires & pleasures for love
twink Lolitaesque male chicken desires!!!
________________

She’d follow him from port to starboard—
getting him off amidship, in the doorways
opening out under the shade of boat decks
the sluggish green fetid Gulf of Mexico

There in the Chief's cabin & the galley—
the engineers' messroom, the engine-room,
aft alleyways running across ship joining 
the side alleyways, oh baby, baby!!!
_______________

Forward of these cabins the throbbing—
engine-room where the 'midship deck broadens, 
but is cumbered with bunker hatches (mind your 
meat at night, there); and beyond, again…

The chart-room & over the chart-room—
the bridge and the wheel-house, the sheer 
long drop to the main deck forward, the deck
an iron wall, with its dark entrance

To the mysterious forecastle in its centre—
and over that the uplifted head of our world 
watching our course, bleak windswept place 
of rails, cable chains, and windlass

The poop with its timber deck—
and there in fine weather the deck chairs are
the poop a place needing exact navigation 
at night rudder chains either side of it
_____________

In the centre the saloon sky-light—
the companion, the steward's ice-chest, 
and the hand-steering gear & two boats
and twink sailorboyz who couldn’t sleep

She gained her night knowledge—
of the poop deck by assault, licking her lips
with seaman’s semen, really proud of the 
privilege to know the rolling shadow night