Smoke, Lilies and Jaded Dinge

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5gM7ysWxsk

Smoke, Lilies, Jaded Dinge

“And breathed
Into my ear
The burnt breath of
Satiation”
—Bruce Nugent,
“You Think To Shame Me,”
Gay Rebel of the Harlem Renaissance:
Selections from the Work of Richard
Bruce Nugent, by Thomas H. Wirth

I got back to the apartment after classes once—only to find Tyrone & his younger brother Jerome in bed together. At first I was consumed with jealousy—they were like 2 black angels caught in the middle of making love. But my jealousy soon turned to shame—they didn’t even pay any attention to me. They preferred brotherly incest—to my furtive embrace. Their incestuous doing the sixty-nine in bed—filled me with all the eroticized rush that interracial touch delivers. The incestuous pollination between the 2 young brothers—it was queer & erotically charged, I almost fainted as I came…
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“And whose eyes I have
Only cast down to view me
From above lips that
Twist in the smile that
Passion brings to quiver
Flaring nostrils”
—Bruce Nugent,
“You Think To Shame Me,”
Gay Rebel of the Harlem Renaissance:
Selections from the Work of Richard
Bruce Nugent, by Thomas H. Wirth

Jerome was 2 years younger than Tyrone—he was lighter skinned & more hung than my lover. They had different fathers—and the same beautiful young mother. She liked the men—and the men liked her. I knelt by the bed—ogling myself to death. I wanted to be a part of a mulatto ménage a trois—but I held back. Incest taboos were so full of Eros & Thanatos for me—it just drove me crazy.
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“For such things are
A search for the real
Thing, and each is the
Real thing until done
And proved not”
—Bruce Nugent,
“You Think To Shame Me,”
Gay Rebel of the Harlem Renaissance:
Selections from the Work of Richard
Bruce Nugent, by Thomas H. Wirth

I had the same feelings for my younger brother too—I’d sucked him off I don’t know how many times. Engorged Family Tree—with all its bad biology cum. I felt so much guilt back then—and so much dinge lust & guilt. But Tyrone & Jerome had no shame—they took their time with their teen oral intercourse. And they didn’t gag either—like I did with Tyrone’s runny wads…
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“How did I come to know you?
You remember & use it against me.
I remember & say I love you.
How did you come to know me?"
—Bruce Nugent,
“You Think To Shame Me,”
Gay Rebel of the Harlem Renaissance:
Selections from the Work of Richard
Bruce Nugent, by Thomas H. Wirth

Both brothers had known each other—for a long time. Sixty-nine was a butchy hetero way of getting off—trying to come together at the same time. They were good at it—they liked me watching the action. They’d shocked their girlfriends too—when they refused to give them head. “Okay,” they said—letting them see what a man can really do with another dick.
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“As others had—
As all others had—
Half thru libidinous
Curiosity, half thru
Accident”
—Bruce Nugent,
“You Think To Shame Me,”
Gay Rebel of the Harlem Renaissance:
Selections from the Work of Richard
Bruce Nugent, by Thomas H. Wirth

The chicks & I—we’d end up with insipid queer black ennui. They’d pout or storm off—not wanting to seethe two boyz get down. With me it was more perverse—I liked what I saw & I liked the new kind of shame that coiled thru me like a snake. It was a queer ennui with its own unique kind of shame. I felt cross-pollinated with incestuous lust & creative shame. It conjured up spirits of HooDoo VooDoo forbidden love—these two young cute well-endowed black studs into a perverse down-low with themselves. They were shameless—down to the last turgid wiggle.
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“Your face became flushed,
your eyes embarrassed”
“You Think To Shame Me,”
Gay Rebel of the Harlem Renaissance:
Selections from the Work of Richard
Bruce Nugent, by Thomas H. Wirth

Afterwards I asked Tyrone—why couldn’t he wait till I got back from classes. He yawned—he rolled over in bed. “Cause I couldn’t wait,” he said. “I needed it bad.” I got into bed—he said Jerome felt the same way. He needed it bad too—after looking thru some of my porno. How could I feel jealous—about these 2 young studs getting off? I couldn’t sleep—just thinking about how queer could taboos get? Does incest trump interracial sex? How deep does it go?
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“More embarrassed still
And blushed yet more
Becomingly”
—Bruce Nugent,
“You Think To Shame Me,”
Gay Rebel of the Harlem Renaissance:
Selections from the Work of Richard
Bruce Nugent, by Thomas H. Wirth

Neither one of them blushed—the only time I saw young Jerome really blush & get embarrassed was when I rimmed him the first time. He liked it so much he started hanging around the apartment—when Tyrone was at work in the infirmary cafeteria. I embarrassed him good—I got my snaky tongue way up there as far as I could get. His girlfriend wouldn’t even give him head—I got the good stuff. It was stronger tasting & 10-times as repugnant as his older brother’s jizz…
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“Oh, I notice all
About you then—
Your sweet-drawn legs
Your stance, broadly strong
As slightly straddled you’d
Spread your legs to stand
Unconscious of suave line
Of calf, thigh & groin”
—Bruce Nugent,
“You Think To Shame Me,”
Gay Rebel of the Harlem Renaissance:
Selections from the Work of Richard
Bruce Nugent, by Thomas H. Wirth

Both of them were basketball players—that’s how they stayed in shape. They treated me like a dirty piece of white trash—except at the very end. And then it was “Oh, Yolande!!!” this—and “Oh, Roxanne!!!” that. If those girlz—only knew… They’d be the jealous ones—not me. They were always calling up—and knocking at the door. Tough tittie…