Monday, March 11, 2013


—for William Faulkner  

“Lordly girl, you be such a dizzy dilettante!!!”

“Dat be right, honey. I be Miss Delta Debutante.”

“You mean aging Contessa, don’t ya girl?”

“Delta Bourbon Grande Dame, please.”

“Honey, you be the de most Uppity Old Miss Thing.”

“But girl: I been doin’ de Down Low for years now!”

“Ha!! DL for you mean being de Dinge Queen!”

“Everybody down here in de Deep South be havin’ a little drop of Creole in dem, honey.”

“Yeah, baby, but you done get a pint of de good stuff every fuckin’ night, Miss Scarlet, honey.”

“I do declare, Miss Thing, you surely be in a bitchy Bead Readin’ mood tonight, girl.”

“I hear you been doin’ de Governor’s young handsome chauffeur lately, you old whore?” 

“Donzelle? Yeah, baby. He be so smooth, swanky, debonair-lookin’ in dat nice uniform of his.”

“Ha! His uniform ain’t de only thing you like, baby.”

“But I can’t help it if I like de Darke Meat, baby doll?”

“What would de Kingfish say, if he only knew, girl.” 

“Oh look! Dare be Donzelle now! Driving by!!!”

“What a Nice Big Slinky Limousine!”

“Look out! See dat big Cadillac limo he be drivin’?”

“Yeah, Donzelle be the Contessa of Cool all right.”

“He be cruisin for all de Young Stuff, honey.”

“Ya mean de Kingfish like de college boys?”

“Do dey waltz in Vienna, girl?”

“I’m simply shocked! You mean that…”

“Does the sun rise in the East, baby?”

“Well, I guess you oughtta know, Miss Thing.”

“Dat’s right. I be IN THE KNOW, honey.” 

“You used to be Huey P. Long’s chicken, didn’t ya?”

“Dat was way back in de Thirties, honey.”

“You must be old as an ole ugly Alligator, girl!”

“It’s de Fountain of Youth, baby. Dat young Stuff.”

“How exquisitely decadent, my dear.”

“It’s what makes de Magnolias moan at night.”

“How lovely and seminal it sounds.”

“It’s what makes the Spanish Moss so well hung.”

“Yes, the Vieux Carré still be rather charming.”

“It’s what makes Mardi Gras so heavenly.”

“Yes, Tiger Town still be tres nostalgic.”

“It’s what made the Hippies so hip!”

“Gaud, that be back in the Sixties!”

“It’s what made de Drop-Outs so cool.”

“Chimes Street back then musta been…”

“It’s what made de young Druggies drool”

“Didn’t you used to live there back then?”

“It’s what made all de Draft Dodgers so debonair”

“How “Gone With The Wind,” my dear—

“It’s what made de Dinge Queens so desperate.”

“You must be de Delta Queen Muse, girl!!”

“Dat be what Miss Faulkner say, Honey.”

“Holy Mackerel, you knew her too, my dear?”

“I be a guest at Rowan Oakes Plantation many drunken weekends, don’t cha know, sweetheart.”

“You musta got to know all de Mississippi Delta Bourbon queens back then, Miss Scarlet?”

“Just ask Butterfly McQueen, girl, she know.”

“And Yoknapatawpha?” 

“Honey, I got to know Yoknapatawpha as good as yams, gumbo and corn whiskey sitting up late into de humid Night there on Miss Faulkner’s verandah with de bougainvillea snaking round my ankles and de magnolias moanin’ and groanin’ in de sad eternal Southern Delta moonlight that once was……”

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