Black and White

Black and White
__________________

—for Ahmos ZuBolton

“patchouli,
mildew
and mold”
—Joris-Karl Huysmans
Against Nature (A Rebours)

I was just a hippie—
what did I know about
love, war, poetry?

I’d written this—
stupid prose-poem
about incest and

submitted it to—
the delta journal
for publication

one of the lines—
“incest is best in our
little nest of insecurities”
______________

it was about this—
brief homoerotic affair
with my kid brother

so then ahmos—
the editor visited
and wanted to

talk about it—
the poetics of
male miscegenation

he knew I was—
gay and had the
hots for him
______________

making love with him—
was like sticking my
tongue in a light socket

tres inspiring—
a shock of recognition
a copasetic climax

it was perfectly—
exquisitely just what
baudelaire ordered

it was so intense—
I’m sure miss verlaine
and rimbaud smirked
______________

ahmos zuboltan—
still believed in the
poet’s muse back then

not yet deceived—
by the vague promises
that whitey poetry gave

not yet disillusioned—
and decadent, then drafted
into viet nam’s madness

I tried to warn him—
but he shrugged with
his perpetual confidence
______________

he actually believed—
that the muse was an
elegant, charming god

instead of a mocking—
dominatrix bitchy goddess
who preferred white meat

a middle-class medusa—
turning men into stone
a big business whore

I asked myself—
what would I have done
if I had been him?