Miss Hook

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vuk3jyRzlw&feature=relmfu

Cyril Ritchard as Miss Hook

“It’s a Laaaaaady!!!

It’s a Beautiful Lady!!!”

—Cyril Ritchard

Peter Pan (1960)

_________________

It’s simply all Cyril Ritchard’s fault—

He queered me as a fey Captain Hook

In that stage version of Peter Pan.

That play made me gay, no joke—

As a kid I had a little crush on Hook

I wanted to be his Peter Pan in drag!!!

Ah, yes, so much Nostalgia overload—

I still remember every nuanced phrase

“It’s a Laaaaaady!!! It’s a Beautiful Lady!!!”

Can you say: Gender Bender!—

Can you say: “Oh my mysteeeerious laaaady!!!”

“What is your naaaame?”

Cyril Ritchard in the Metropolitan Opera—

He played in “La Perichole” and later as

Elron in “The Hobbit” (1977)

Now this scene looks so perverted—

But it was so funny back when I was a kid

A flamboyant pirate who likes to get beat up!

An actress in drag playing—

A little boy in drag, passing himself off as

A woman seducing a nelly mincing pirate

"Its a laaaady!"—

And how I loved how Hook plays the flute

With a little twist of his naughty hook

It’s all so crazy like Victor/Victoria—

A woman pretending to be a man that’s

Pretending to be a woman

I loved the part where Peter—

Kicks Hook in the ass and the endless

Unwinding of the secret hidden veil forever

So, if you ever get attacked by pirates—

Just whip out your tambourine and entrance

Them with your sexy Hoochie-Koochie dancing

Looking back on it all now days—

I guess it's good after all that Peter was played

By a woman...I can’t imagine a man doing it

A woman pretending to be a boy—

Pretending to be a woman seductress...

It makes my head simply spin, my dears!

It’s got to be the gayest scene—

Other than the Tarantella in the entire movie

That’s my humble queenly opinion now days

Kensington Park

Kensington Park

Pockets full of bools—

Preens and peeries

Plus pretty you

Preoccupied with Pan—

Compulsively cruising

Kensington Park

Not always seeking—

An admiring audience

For his boyhood plays

Dreaming up juicy—

Penny Dreadfuls

There in the dark

Never Neverland—

Barrie the sly one

Full of self-effacement

A strange blend of—

Intrusiveness and

Self-dismissal

The Statue

The Statue

“The little less 
and how much
it is”—James R. Barrie
“Peter Pan” directions
_______________________

Peter grows up—
But the Peter Pan statue
Stays just the same

Never pinched—
Or short of money
In this Land of Queens

A most ordinary—
Manner & naturalness
Must be portrayed

No extravagance—
No theatric mannerisms
No overplaying unnaturally

No matter how queer—
The Statue letting Peter 
Speak for himself

The Reluctant Peter

THE RELUCTANT PETER
_______________

Peter
Kensington Gardens
Fairies
After Dark
What Daphne Saw
Fatal Touch
________________

Peter

“He didn’t care for
the suggestion that
he was Peter Pan”
—Piers Dudgeon
Neverland: J. M. Barrie,
The Du Mauriers and the
Dark Side of Peter Pan
________________

I despised Barrie—
The Queen Bee of
Kensington Gardens

Even though she—
Preferred Michael
Thank goodness!

It’s easy to see why—
Michael being the
Best-looking one

Barrie wanted—
Michael to be his
Statue in the Park

So all the Queens—
And Fairies would be
Green with jealousy

Kensington Gardens

“name-dropping and 
scandal-seeking heavy 
breathing”—Janet Maslin,
“For Starters, a Satanic Svengali,”
The NYTimes, Oct 25, 2009
_______________

Barrie took pictures—
Of Michael dressed
In Peter Pan drag 

A cruisy number—
Cute chicken hustler
Just Barrie’s type

Like all those—
Rowdy Gallery Boys
Who booed his Plays

But the sculptor—
Sir George Frampton
Choose another model

Much more innocent—
Miss Frampton worried
About a gay Scandale 

Fairies

“Fairies were
all the rage”
—Piers Dudgeon
Neverland: J. M. Barrie,
The Du Mauriers and the
Dark Side of Peter Pan
____________

Barrie was so—
Tres envious of
“Bluebell in Fairyland”

A trashy popular hit—
Playing the Vaudeville
300 performances!!!

It’s all us boys—
Talked about even
After “Peter Pan”

Miss Barrie was—
Simply chartreuse
With awful jealousy 

She couldn’t stand—
Being upstaged by
Another Playwright!!!

After Dark

“remarkably adept at using 
saccharine passages to 
disguise salacious ones”
“name-dropping and 
scandal-seeking heavy 
breathing”—Janet Maslin,
“For Starters, a Satanic Svengali,”
The NYTimes, Oct 25, 2009
________________

Needless to say—
The Serpentine simply
Just wasn’t ready

What went on there—
In Kensington Garden
After Closing Time

Miss Barrie cruised—
The Park like all the
Other fags of London

Miss Auden got her—
Famous anal fissure
There in the bushes

“The Wound” wasn’t—
pretty but Auden turned
it into a poem anyway

What Daphne Saw

“incongruous, absurd, the head 
with the uniformed cap was not 
a woman's head at all. The thing 
bearing down on her was a cow...
a cow on a woman's body”
—Daphne Maurier, 
“The Blue Lenses
___________________

Barrie wrote—
Sickeningly about
Young boyish beauty

Using saccharine—
Passages to disguise
Salacious passages

She was definitely—
A chicken queen but
With a vulture’s head

Daphne du Maurier—
Describes Barrie nicely
In “The Blue Lenses”

Barrie’s brother David—
Dead in a skating accident
Would be the first victim 

Fatal Touch

 “J. M Barrie has a fatal 
touch for those he loves”
—D. H. Lawrence  

Peter Pan tells—
Miss Barrie in the Play
“Please don’t touch me”

And one can see why—
With everybody dropping
Like flies around her

David Barrie dead—
His mother’s favorite
In a skating accident

Falling thru the ice—
But it’s all hushed up
Only Miss Barrie knows

Daphne Maurier saw—
The truth with her
Svengali Family intuition

The Davies boys—
All dead except Nico too 
From war and suicide

The Gallery Boys

The Gallery Boys

“The rebuffs I have

got from all of you!”

—James R. Barrie

Peter Pan or the Boy Who

Would Not Grow Up

___________________

You Gallery Boys —

You Peter Pans my Masters!

How many lines abandoned —

Hidden away because of you?

Something snotty you’d say —

Leering at me in the balcony!

______________

It’d be simply the end of me—

As Tragedian and Comedienne!

Your Penny Dreadful sneers —

Up there me down on my knees!

It was all grossly immoral —

My jaded Boy Theater of Love

_______________

You were all such a Rowdy Bunch —

My true Gang of Lost Boys!!!

Shouting and hooting all the time —

Every Performance with its Blowjobs!

You were my best Critics! —

I trusted your jizzy Judgments!

________________

Sometimes you’d say:  “C’mon —

I dare you to put that in your play!”

It would be shockingly obscene —

Something right out of the gutter!

Not Sweet Nothings either, my dear—

Instead excitingly dirty as Sin!

_________________

Some of my best dialogue came —

From The Gallery Boys way up There

The Lost Boys in the highest tiers —

In the cheapest admission seats

They’d throw torn-up Programs —

Down on the Audience below

______________

And if the Play was bad and lousy —

They’d throw rotten eggs instead!

The Gallery Boys my young Masters —

They’d Never Ever Grow Up!!

Peter Pan the Boy who Flew —

Way up there in the Highest Tiers!!!

Hollywood Babylon

HOLLYWOOD BABYLON

"The shadow of Babylon 
had fallen over Hollywood” 
—Kenneth Anger, Hollywood Babylon
__________________

Hollywood murders—
Edith Head, Sal Mineo
And Michael Jackson

Lost Boy Corey Haim—
Drained dry by Hollywood queens
Down to the last drop

Lana Turner weeps—
Johnny Stompanto’s been stabbed
Her daughter did it
____________________

Bobby Driscoll’s dead—
OD’s on Methedrine, the
Same with “Alfalfa”

Ramon Navarro—
Done in by Valentino’s
Art deco dildo

Poor Albert Dekker—
Hanging himself in women’s
Silk lingerie drag
____________________

Bored George Sanders—
Nude, lonely, goodbye in Spain
So much for Zsa Zsa

Dazzling Jayne Mansfield—
Career on the skids then a
Rain slick car crash decapitation

Valentino’s demise—
Exquisite bitterness with
Natacha’s last kiss

X The Unknown

“Radioactive mud-like creature 
Terrorizes a Scottish village 
During the 1950's!!!”

Little did the world know, little did the world suspect!!! That such a horrible creature would come up from the depths of hell—starved and hungering for innocent human flesh!!!

British Army radiation drills at a remote Scottish base attract a subterranean, radioactive entity of unknown nature that vanishes, leaving two severely radiation-burned soldiers... and a "bottomless" crack in the earth. 

Others who meet the thing in the night suffer likewise, and with increasing severity; it seems to be able to "absorb" radiation from any source, growing bigger and bigger. 

What is it?? How do you destroy a thing that "feeds" on energy? Nothing like a depressing black & white British ‘50s science fiction movie to sober up a crowd of usually sex-crazed, drunk, stoned American moviegoers at the local Snake Pit Drive In Saturday Night Movie.

Maybe that’s why X THE UNKNOWN never was very popular in the American Teenage Sexploitation Market. Sleazy monster movies like THE ASTOUNDING SHE-CREATURE and CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON were much more craved for their thrills and chills and getting off on Saturday nights—than simply some stupid X THE UNKNOWN mud-like piece of radioactive shit.

As black & white 50s sci-fi thrillers go, X THE UNKNOWN is somewhat eerie and has at least two genuinely scary scenes. One has a small boy wondering into the forest only to be traumatically frightened by a suggested, off-screen entity:

And a scene where a hospital attendant is exposed to the radioactive creature, only to hideously decompose.

During the mid-50s, before they gloriously revived gothic horror to its most colorful grandeur, England's Hammer films produced a handful of black & white sci-fi efforts that had a popular following. 

Produced the same year as their initial "Quatermass" effort (THE QUATERMASS EXPERIMENT), X THE UNKNOWN was the first Hammer film scripted by the legendary Jimmy Sangster who would soon reinvent the exploits of Frankenstein, Dracula and many more.

Lucky Strike

___________________

Lucky Strike

“His hair was a wild

tangle; the front of

his shirt was torn”

—Ridley Pearson, Dave Barry

Peter and the Shadow Thieves

It wasn’t supposed—

To happen but it did anyway

Peter Pan grew up one day

Outta the blue he came—

All grown up with goodlooks

That could just kill

Young male Fairies—

According to the Storytellers

Get that way sometimes

They’ll edge it up—

A notch or two in Time

Into Teenage Adolescence

Just enough to get—

The feel for what guys like

Me crave in a guy like him

There he was one day—

Stretched out in a hammock

Smoking a Lucky Strike

The Neverland Club

_____________________

The NEVERLAND Club

“Peter smirked”

—Ridley Pearson, Dave Barry

Peter and the Shadow Thieves

I simply Swooned—

When Peter would give me

That naughty Smirk of his

Both before & after sex—

Then Flying Out to the gay

Never Neverland Club

Fairy Tales just don’t—

Always tell the Whole Truth

When it comes to Peter Pan

There’s a lot left out—

Just ask skanky Walt Disney

There in dismal Disneyland

Gay Tinkerbell be banned—

As well as dyke Goldilocks

& The Seven Faggy Dwarves!!!

The same with Nelly Pluto—

Dizzy Donald Duck and that

Awful Penis-Crazy Porky Pig!!!

Peter Pan Aging

Peter Pan Aging

“Peter was silent
for a long moment”
—Ridley Pearson, Dave Barry
Peter and the Shadow Thieves 
(Starcatchers) 

“You aging humans—
are so very lucky, you know”
Peter said to me

“That’s not what many—
of us Baby Boomers tend
to think though,” I said

Peter Pan shrugged—
The Eternal Boy looked
Deeply into my eyes

“It’s not often,” I said—
“I get to meet the famous
Leader of the Lost Boys”

He grinned at me—
With his stunningly cute
Jeremy Sumpter goodlooks

“If you only knew,” he said—
“I’m eternal on the outside
but I’m ancient on the inside”

Peter Pan Jaded

___________________________________________

Peter Pan Jaded

“Sorry!” interrupted Peter,

his pangs of guilt changing

to irritation tinged with

self-pity”—Ridley Pearson,

Dave Barry, Peter and the

Shadow Thieves

“You know, of course”—

Young Peter Pan said to me

“I’m a hundred years old!!!”

I was simply shocked—

I’d never thought of it that

Way, Peter as a “Wrinkly”

He’d always seemed Eternal—

Ever since Miss Barrie had

Created the Flying Boy

“You only see me,” he said—

“Like some Walt Disney cartoon

A Hollywood Chicken forever”

It’s true, so very true—

Peter Pan didn’t need any

Face lifts for Eternal Youth

Beauty was just skin-deep—

While being Old and Jaded

Went all the way to the Bone!!!

Great Distractions

_____________________

Great Distractions

“He was distracting me”

—Ridley Pearson, Dave Barry

Peter and the Shadow Thieves

Young cute sexy Peter Pan—

He simply kept distracting me

Coming thru my bedroom window

The next thing I knew, honey—

I was flying thru the Night Sky

Higher than a kite over Kensington

Swooping over London Bridge—

Sky-diving during the Olympics

Such a breathtaking Royal Kid!!!

I got rid of Wendy quick—

Along with tacky Captain Hook

I wanted Peter all to myself

Maybe he was a 100 years old—

But he tasted like fresh filet mignon

Served up on the Platter fresh!!!

A juicy Slice of Never Neverland—

Captain Hook green with jealousy

Even the Queen wanted a Tidbit!!!

Forbidden Fruit

______________________

Forbidden Fruit

“That would be lovely, boy”

sneered Hook, pealing back

the skin and nibbling”

—Ridley Pearson, Dave Barry

Peter and the Shadow Thieves

Little did I know—

The Secret Naughty Attraction

That Captain Hook had for Peter

I knew that Captain Hook—

Was a foul, despicable, smarmy

Pedophilic Pirate of Ill Repute

I knew that Captain Hook—

Was a disgusting, obsequious

Pervert of the Seven Seas

But I simply had no idea—

Just what a Perv he really was

Until Wendy spilled the Beans

“Peter is Eternally Young”—

Wendy said, “Everything about

Him is Eternal Fountain of Youth”

“Especially his Smegma”—

She said, “It may be cheesy

But it’s got Magic Hormones!!!”

Love Like Dirt

Love Like Dirt 
—for Frank Bidart
          
I won’t I won’t do it I said—
But I got down on my knees anyway

He doesn’t love me at all I said—
But I did him dirty again & again 

Love like dirt

He made me feel dirty & worthless—
He called me dirty names like cocksucker

But the dirtier he made me feel—
The more I wanted every dirty inch

Love like dirt

When he said I was a queer faggot—
He’d give me the dirtiest meanest look 

The dirtier he glared at me though—
The more it really turned me on

Love like dirt

He was a ducktail Elvis Presley greaser—
He had dirty Elvis the Pelvis thighs

He made me feel simply filthy—
He took his time doing it dirty too

Love like dirt

I knew it was wrong to do what I did—
But I just simply couldn’t help myself

Doing him at the Snake Pit Drive-In—
Watching horror movie double features

Love like dirt

I gave the dirtiest blowjobs—
Of any faggot hanging around town

My bruised swollen handlebar ears—
His dirty ten-inch Harley-Davidson hog

Love like dirt

I liked it when he talked dirty—
He was the dirtiest guy in town

The only thing dirtier was—
My fucking filthy faggot lips 

More or Less

More or Less
—for Frank Bidart 

The less Ronnie needed me—
The more I wanted him really bad

The less he cared about me—
The more I simply couldn’t stand it

The less he said when I did him—
The more I craved it guttural 

The less he needed a blowjob—
The more shell-shocked it left me

The less he felt about me—
The more he enjambed my life

The less he let me get him off—
The more I wanted to marry him

The less he wrote home to me—
The more the Navy sneered at me

The less the obituaries said—
The more I just hated Viet Nam

Queer

Queer 
—for Frank Bidart 

I lied to myself about it—
But he wouldn’t let me lie

“Do me,” he said instead—
Saying it so convincingly

Showing me what—
I’d been missing so badly

It was back in 1957—
The Junior High locker-room

And I was Chicken Little—
With the Sky Falling down

All the way down—
To my nelly weak knees

After that I wasn’t just—
A dizzy Little Queen anymore

I was the Blues Brothers—
On a Mission for God!!!

Queering Queer Theory

Queering Queer Theory

“It is therefore correct that 
every European, in what he
could say about the Orient, 
was consequently a racist, 
an imperialist, and almost 
totally ethnocentric.”
—Edward Said, Orientalism

According to Miss Said—
Orientalist discourse is
Racist and condescending

As well as dehumanizing—
Feminizing and “essentialist”
Oh, that mysterious “essence” 

Invariably homosexual—
Jean-Léon Gérôme’s portrait
Simply telling it all

Such queenly Uranian—
Imaginary constructions 
Impervious to reality

Indeed designed to—
Ignore actual knowledge
And experience of Others

Creating instead a gay—
Peter Pan Flying Carpet
Fantasy for Pedophilia