DEAD RINGER

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Ding Dong Blues

The Bird Bridge

Murder Ordained

Praise the Lord

Dead Ringer

Trashy Hollywood

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Ding Dong Blues

A sure sign —

Of the changing times

When Hostess Twinkies

Gets outta town!!!

Time moves on —

Even though I got the

Ding Dong Blues

But what can you do?

Bankruptcies and —

Liquidations across

This fair land of

American opportunity?

Will Emporia end up —

Like dead decaying

Modern day Detroit

Ghost Town USA?

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The Bird Bridge

Down from up there —

The Sunken Gardens on

Twelfth Avenue where cute

College boys smooch

Past The Granada Theater —

Down along Commercial

All the way to Sixth Avenue

Running East and West

All the way down —

Past the Santa Fe and

Burlington Tracks

Steel rails in the night

Down to Sodom’s Grove —

Cottonwood River Bridge

Follow the country road

Down to The Bird Bridge

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Murder Ordained

A new updated version —

A made-for-TV gothic

Neo-noir flick shocking the

Small town Emporians

What could be worse —

For The Religious Right

Than a Lutheran minister

Killing his lovely Wife?

Bashing her head in —

Throwing her off some

Rickety old country bridge

Down into The River?

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Praise the Lord

Smashing her head in —

Her bloody fingers clutching

The old bridge railing before

Falling down into The Drink?

Let us Praise the Lord!!! —

Sing Hymns to Matrimony!!!

The worst Kansas Killers are

ORDAINED FOR MURDER!!!

An Adulterous Adam —

In a Kansas Garden of Eve

Killing his own Wife with a

Cheap Bottle of Jacques Bonet

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Dead Ringer

Lorna Anderson returns home —

After serving time in the Big House

For murdering her poor husband

Religious Emporia simply shocked!!!

In this new louche Hollywood —

Made-for-TV remake of the tragic

Original murder there in lovely

God-fearing Bible Belt Emporia

“What a fucking dump!” —

Exclaims Bette Davis exhumed

From the grave especially to play

Killer Lorna Anderson again

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Trashy Hollywood

Joan Crawford plays —

Poor cripple Reverend Bird

Stuck in a wheelchair up

There in the lonely Attic

In this Cabaret version —

Of “Dead Ringer” in Drag

The Granada gets to do

Grande Dame Guignol!!!

A Kansas Burlesque —

That says it all and more

A Lutheran Minister in drag

Lorna as Dyke Transvestite!!!