Saturday, March 19, 2011


blackness full of jive—
inarticulate whiteness
words just can't describe.

whiteness full of shit—
closet dinge queens on the prowl
naked negritude

i knew it back then—
ancient deep south taboo
rumored in gym class

there at lsu—
before integration back
then in the sixties.

out of the blue—
cruising a naked guy in
in the gym class showers.

the kid looked at me—
he said there was this coach
who was a dinge queen.

got caught in the gym—
sucking off a janitor
a cute young black guy.

why would he tell me—
something like that just to put
down my being queer?

equating faggot—
with negritude in the gym
a coach nonetheless?

it didn’t work tho—
we went ahead & had sex
he let me do him.

it was an old gym—
had been around for years since
huey p. long dayz.

a gone camelot—
thirties sad nostalgia
like with kennedy.

and then when he came—
the kid called me the n-word
i was simply shocked.

a guilty pleasure—
made me shoot my wad as well
i became negro.

i felt primitive—
like some voodoo hoodoo queer
overcome by dinge.

later the campus—
got integrated back then
in the mid-sixties.

i fell for this kid—
a student editor of the
delta lit journal.

hazard wildman was—
the faculty adviser
there in allen hall.

a gay professor—
from mobile who liked my
gay poetry then.

i was no ginsberg—
howl had been published way then

in san francisco (1957)

and 10 years later—
imitating his free verse style
delta published me.

then gay sunshine press—
put out “chicken” & “size queen”
i be fag poet

but always back there—
in my darkest closet mind
i knew who i was…

the story about—
the coach & the janitor
always haunted me….

i knew in my heart—
neil cassidy just wasn’t
enough man for me.

jack kerouac too—
these white guyz that ginsberg loved
they just weren’t for me.

what gave it away—
was living all those years in
the dormitories.

the janitors were—
naturally were all negro men
a job for young blacks.

i fell for this guy—
in the south stadium dorm
he was beautiful.

each & every morning—
he unlock my door & would
empty wastebaskets.

soon i skipped classes—
laid in bed waiting for him
nude naturally.

it didn’t take long—
to get him in bed with me
young black orpheus.

he lock the door and—
take off all his fuckin’ clothes
i went down on him.

i craved his dinge wads—
they were runny & nasty
and i rimmed him too.

all i wanted was—
to become him when he came
the cute mandingo

i was the gay coach—
the one in the gym who loved
the black janitor.

i be a dinge queen—
i picked him up after work
i needed him bad.

we’d drive down to the—
levee and make out at night
mississippi cum.

i couldn’t help it—
there weren’t any black studies
programs on campus.

deep south in turmoil—
desegregation raged all
over dixie land.

the viet nam war—
would get you if you flunked out
dead in the jungle.

it was a struggle—
keeping my grade point up there
doing the down-low…

they tried to draft me—
i told them i was homo
“so what?” they just shrugged.

i told them i was—
going to bed with a young
“nigger” janitor…

the psychiatrist—
had a nervous breakdown then
got rid of me fast.

yes, i checked the “box”—
and all hell broke loose for me
the box said “dinge queen.”

and so that was that—
i was the scourge of the earth
a social outcast.

but i gave a shit—
i took jerome on a trip
down to mardi gras.

i wined & dined him—
thanked him, kissed his nice black ass
for saving my life.

from then on it was—
like we were married man & wife
he was my whole life.

i moved off-campus—
got an apartment for us
there in tiger town.

we smoked lots of dope—
my poetry got better
hoodoo voodoo love…

africa blessed me—
he taught me gumbo cookin’
his mother liked me.

things slowed down for me—
he had a younger brother
he moved in with us.

i kept it secret—
nobody needed to know
how happy we were.

it took a long time—
i was in no hurry to
graduate dontchaknow?

it took 100 years—
and gawd knows how many pints
delta dinge love jizz!!!

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