Matthew Martin & J. Conrad Frank in “Baby Jane” (2010)
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO VAGINA WOOLF?
“Have you ever been tempted to
write about a same sex relationship?”
“I don’t see that much of a difference
between heterosexual and homosexual
relationships, if they are two people
really involved with each other, trying
to make life together. I don’t see that
much difference, except that the
homosexual couple have to fight a lot
of prejudices, and illegalities.”
—Edward Albee, “Borrowed Time:
An Interview with Stephen Bottoms,”
Stretching My Mind: The Collected Essays
Well, my dears—
Perhaps it’s time for a campy
Queer parody of Miss Woolf?
You know, like William Clift—
Did with “What Ever Happened
To Baby Jane?” (1962)
Starring Matthew Martin the best
Bette Davis impersonator of all time...
Who else could do a drag version—
Of tres bitchy Elizabeth Taylor as
“Martha” the Virginia Woolf Shrew?
Plus J. Conrad Frank who played—
Blanche as poor wimpy Sandy Dennis
George Segal’s ditzy two-bit wife?
Mike Finn who played the smarmy—
Edwin, let her be cute Miss Segal
But who to play Richard Burton?
The handsome Vincent De Paul
(Hairspray) as Detective Bill or
Jeff Dylan Graham as Detective Joe?
Probably nobody can possibly—
Outdo for tres campy male hysteria
The Queen Bee herself Miss Burton…
Choosing “Baby Jane” to do a—
Drag version of “Vagina Woolf”
Seems to be the best way to go
We choose “Baby Jane” to portray—
Miss Woolf so the audience won’t
Lose the Drag Queen Perspective