A Bad Boy Bedtime Story

A Bad Boy Bedtime Story
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Once upon a time—
I was married to Ted Hughes
Who ended up a poor excuse
For being a human being

Instead Ted became a Snake—
A Snake with 2 legs who got
Milked just like a Herpetologist
Milks Cobras & Rattlesnakes
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Down to the last jizzy drop—
Making Snake-bite serum to
Protect people if they got bit
By a Snake like Ted Hughes

It was a crummy inside job—
All those “Lost Weekends” fucking
His cute girlfriend Assia smoking
Some decent weed and whatever
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Assia was hardly innocent—
With her strap-on vibrato Dildo stuck
All the way up Ted’s pretty pink
Hardly-innocent, hardly-tight Asshole

They found him deader than—
A doornail in his dumpy apartment
Hanging from the ceiling with ropes and
Chains with Lady Gaga music blasting away
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Assia’s well-greased burnt-out Dildo—
Still sticking obscenely outta Ted’s fine ass
Oozing rubbery Jellyfish still warm with a
Sushi grin on his face that wouldn’t quit

A lipstick smeared message on his chest—
“Beat me, Burn me, Fuck me to Death”
All of it covered up for the funeral with
Poor Miss Eliot & Miss Auden all so weepy