Mytholmroyd Misogynist

Stella Vine, "Ted Hughes"

Mytholmroyd Misogynist
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“muck of a man in
this muck of existence”
—Ted Hughes,
“Fallgrief’s Girlfriends,”
The Hawk in the Rain
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Ted Hughes was in many ways—
A typical Mytholmroyd misogynist
A rowdy Mexborough hoodlum

He thought he could get rid of—
Both Sylvia and Assia casting them
Out to sea carried off by currents
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So that he could begin again—
With Susan Alliston, Brenda Hedden,
Emma Tennant, Jill Barber, etc.

Not that Sylvia had no equal—
Not that she was his or her children
Were of his flesh and blood
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He lived in his own selfish world—
Like most chauvinistic cat-indolent
And shrew-mouthed vain males

He gauged his Index to humanity—
By how much his goodlooks could put
Women on a string to be dangled with
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Ted enjoyed lots of flattery—
All his admiring sycophantic boyfriends
Would slobber and slave all over him

Ted could get away with murder—
They didn’t care, they only envied his
Supposedly suave romantic demeanor
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His envious boyfriends wouldn’t—
Admit it but they were all queer for him
His moody, sullen Celtic sexuality

Ted’s eyes could reflect such pain—
Without the need for lipstick or mascara
He had a natural femme fatale allure
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Ted didn’t need eye-shadow either—
“Any woman born”, he’d say, “having
What any woman born is born with…”

“They can’t help but fall in love with me—
All my wit & goodlooks makes me worth it,
Having what I have & that’s what they want.”
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“I don’t have a choice, I can’t help it—
Whilst I am this muck of a man in this
Muck of existence, what else can I do?”

“My wit and goodlooks aren’t anything—
I’m a diamond in the rough and I can muck
Around like any man with this pig-snout.”
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I can’t help it if I’m a handsome Romeo—
Admired by so many giddy mannequins
Both men & women who worship me in their
Motley pitch-black pig-sty bedroom darkness

I’m just a muck of a man—
Here in this muck of mucky, putrid existence
A minor literary potentate amidst nincompoops
A louche male chauvinist Poet Laureate pig