JUSTIN BIEBER HAIKUS 

“Just when you think you
can trust someone, they turn 
out to be the Bad Seed.”
—David Trinidad
____________________

1

I don’t know which is
better: Justin Bieber’s 
tattoos or cute poutings

2

The Bates Motel has—
vacancies my dear just for
nude boys like the Beebs

3

He stuffs his Smartphone
down into his low-slung pants
and takes a Selfie

4

Something I learned long
ago, honey: never fall
for a cute Chicken

5

The mob of screamy
Tweenies simply adore his
pussycat Hood mince

6

Beebs will one day win
the Emmy for dropping his
pants during a show

7

She’s already doing—
the Greta Garbo game
“I vant to be alone”

8

Smack! Nothing ends a
New Jersey performance like
A squirt in the face

9

He ends up doing—
Doing an old striptease act
The No Tell Motel

10

Step right up, folks, and
witness Beeb's imitation
of a Tattooed Twink