Real Gay Housewives Episode One

REAL GAY HOUSEWIVES 

EPISODE ONE

“Resistance is futile, my dears. 
Almost everyone with a television 
has sampled from the deliciously 
naughty snack bar that is today’s
tacky gay reality television.”
—Geraldine de Jabberway
The New York Times (Fashion) 
____________________

At first I refused to watch—
based on my misguided queenly
so-called faggy cultural snobbery

But I’m simply a sucker—
For trashy kitschy tres campy
Melodramatic gay Soap Operas
_____________

So after ogling the first—
Episode of “Real Gay Housewives”
I felt my gay psyche pulsating madly

I felt like Huck Finn getting it on—
With Jim on the American Raft of
Lost and Gone Innocence once again
_________________

“C’mon, Huck, honey, get your—
Skinny white trash ass back on de
Raft again, baby, I need ya bad!!!”

Good news, for Huck, Jim and me—
I found my Lost Innocence returning
Once again to jaded old Queen me…
_______________

I'm not being snarky or sarcastic—
After all, my dears, I’m still a great
Fan of dishy “Desperate Housewives.”

Just look at “Real Gay Housewives”—
Such puffy pouty Botux lips, those diva
Flipping, surgically-buoyed breasts!!!
______________

Their lovely look-alike Drag Queen faces—
Like a row of Andy Warhol's Campbell's 
Soup cans and multi-colored Marilyns!!!

“Real Gay Housewives” is fun to watch—
whether trying to out-flambé each other or
edgy fashion queens out-draping them all