Old Fag at the Movies

Gaye Dawn in Key Largo (1948)

OLD FAG AT THE MOVIES

CLAIRE TREVOR

I may be dumb—
But one thing I do know…
I was a chicken Claire Trevor

You know, Gaye Dawn—
In that moody 1948 classic 
Film noir KEY LARGO
_______________

The one with Humphrey—
Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Lionel 
Barrymore & Edward G. Robinson 

Yes, I may be dumb—
But I’ve got this strange
PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY
____________

I can remember movies—
As if they were just yesterday
BINGO!  BIJOU IS BACK!!!

Even as a kid I was—
Hopelessly like an inveterate
OLD QUEEN AT THE MOVIES!!!
___________

I don’t know why and—
I don’t know how but that’s
just the way it was, honey

It was way back in 1948—
When I was 5 years old and
Living in Riverside CA

THE FOX RIVERSIDE THEATER

Talk about acid flashback—
It’s like just yesterday when
KEY LARGO just ruined me…

Not that anyone oughtta—
Really care my this old queen’s
Hollywood chicken filmography
_____________

But it all happened there on—
3801 Mission Inn Avenue in
schmaltzy ugly Riverside, CA

It happened so very quickly—
So unexpectedly and simply
Right outta the blue, dears
____________

Since nobody will ever do—
My stupendous autobiography
I’ll just have to write my own

My own faggy filmography—
Explaining & illustrating being
OLD FAG AT THE MOVIES
_______

My bumbling BILDUNGSROMAN—
Beginning that strange afternoon
When I became Claire Trevor 

It was just the briefest moment—
But it’s stayed simply emblazoned 
In my tres faggy imagination!!!

CADILLAC 

It was just a simple Sunday—
On a drive through Riverside
In my father’s new Cadillac

He’d bought it to impress his—
Wife’s parents who were there
Visiting us from Kansas City
____________

He was a wise-ass jet pilot—
Learning how to fly fast F-86’s
Before going off to Korea

He was showing off and—
Touring the town to assure
My grandparents he was #1
______________

I wanted to have some fun—
Continuously pestering them
I wanted to go to a movie

There were lots of classic—
Movie theaters back then &
They were all slipping by
____________

Finally Dearest Daddy got—
Sick of my childish whining
And faggy filmic kvetching

So at the next theater—
He pulled over his swanky
Sleek slinky new Cadillac

KEY LARGO (1948)

He was such a wise-ass—
He really didn’t much wanna
Have me & my brother anyway

It was more for Amy Jane—
Mommy Dearest and to keep
Her parents somewhat happy
_____________

Mother was a pretty redhead—
And her hormones were like
Already flowing like crazy

They figured that surely a—
Quickie marriage now was like
Better than a shotgun one later
___________

That way with a couple of—
Kids like me & my brother
It would make her a Mother

And she would become a—
Loving All-American housewife
Worthy of a Happy Marriage
_____________

Unfortunately, well, it didn’t—
Work out that way and there
Were lots of nasty bitch-fights

She was like Claire Trevor—
She’d picked the wrong man
It all got down and dirty

THE MOVIE PALACE 

So my wise-ass Big Daddy—
Reached into his pocket and
Handed me a lousy quarter

We were parked out front—
By the curb of this simply
Magnificent movie palace
___________

The Fox Riverside Theater—
With its suave Spanish Colonial 
Revival style so invitingly luring 

So West Coast Romantic with—
Its exquisite architecture simply 
A divine Hollywood Temple
__________

Famously it had screened—
A sneak preview showing of 
GONE WITH THE WIND

It had a long and esteemed—
History stretching from the
Vaudeville era up until now
_________________

Unfortunately like so many—
Palatial Film Palaces it later
Fell into disuse and ruin

But it’s been restored as—
The Fox Performing Arts Center
With performances, theater, movies

THE TICKET COUNTER

Dearest Daddy was like—
Daring me to go on in or
Like just fucking shut up

But regardless I grabbed—
The quarter and without any
Qualms or queer hesitations
______________

I plunged out the door—
And went running up to
The towering Ticket Booth

Naturally, I couldn’t just—
Reach up to the Ticket Counter
So I did the next best thing
________________

I took aim with the coin—
And expertly tossed it up
Right through the glass hole

Then without a ticket—
Or any dizzy forethought
I ran right into the theater
__________________

I often wonder what—
It’s like for a tres butchy
No-nonsense military man

To end up getting stuck—
With a nelly little fag like
Yours truly was back then

SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT

I can just imagine the look—
Of total shock & amazement 
On the faces back in the car

My grandmother was simply—
Chagrinned with horror and
Chastised my father severely
___________

My leap into lovely cinematic—
Freedom was ever so brief
Though, it didn’t last long

I got halfway down the dark—
Meandering aisle heading for
The best fucking front seats
__________

Gazing hypnotically at this—
Simply beautiful movie actress
Up there on the Silver Screen

It was lovely Claire Trevor—
Singing her incredibly sad yet
Campy Torch Song just for me
_________________

She looked into my eyes—
They were the teary eyes of sad
Gaye Dawn crooning just for me

“Don't know any reason why
He treats me so poorly
What have I gone and done?”

TORCH SONG

Claire Trevor got an Oscar—
For Best Supporting Actress back
Then during the Academy Awards

So did Humphrey Bogart—
In TREASURE OF SIERRA MADRE
Walter Huston’s other film
____________

Even as my Daddy Dearest—
Whisked me up in his arms
Taking me back up the aisle

I couldn’t help myself—
Gazing up at poor Gaye Dawn
Over his shoulders then
_____________

It was truly a rather—
Filmic Epiphany Moment for
Me retreating backwards then

Entranced by her eyes—
Enthralled by her sad lyrics
Ecstatically hooked to Hollywood
_______________

Moanin' low—
My sweet man is gonna go
When he goes, oh Lordy

Though he's mean as can be—
He's the kind of man needs the 
Kind of a woman like me