REAL GAY HOUSEWIVES
EPISODE TWO
First, lets make a teeny-weeny little distinction and then a dishy disclaimer. The distinction is between two main types of Soap Operas: campy competitions (like “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf) and Hollywood "shockers" (like “Valley of the Dolls”).
The competition Soaps are like pretty much like most bitchy cat-fights melodramas: just plain fun and/or simply awful to watch. The thrill over someone dishing somebody and the disappointment over someone losing the bitch fight is truly tres riveting entertainment.
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Whether it's talented queens trying to dish, demean and out-flambé each other — such as Clifton Webb in “Laura” (1944) playing the bitchy drama critic Waldo Lydecker bitchily dishing faggy Miss Vincent Price or mocking cynical bull-dyke Judith Anderson.
Or whether it’s Addison DeWitt another bitchy drama queen critic — dishing Marilyn Monroe as a product of the Copacabana School of the Dramatic Arts or reading Ann Baxter’s beads for being an ambitious, trashy, lying Queen Bee bent on fame and fortune.
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Edgy drama queens are like faggy fashion designers trying to constantly upstage one another — there is little that is more dramatic than vain queens at the top of their game competing with each other. Watching some queen turn a phrase into a red-carpet flyaway remark is as amazing and inspiring as watching Steve Reeves flex his biceps and big tits, saving the world with his Hercules strength and bulging ever so louche loincloth.
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Talent, creativity and exquisite timing are always uplifting—no matter how dishy and downgrading the discipline of the queenly spoken word gets sometimes.
On the other hand, a total lack of talent, tacky kitschy flatulence and simply trashy timing can be rather refreshingly uplifting too—by deflating self-importance, playing parody & pastiche with pompous people’s personalities and uttering just the right "wrong" word at some particularly choice embarrassing moment
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