Friday, August 31, 2012

Miss Hook

Cyril Ritchard as Miss Hook

“It’s a Laaaaaady!!!
It’s a Beautiful Lady!!!”
—Cyril Ritchard
Peter Pan (1960)

It’s simply all Cyril Ritchard’s fault—
He queered me as a fey Captain Hook
In that stage version of Peter Pan.

That play made me gay, no joke—
As a kid I had a little crush on Hook
I wanted to be his Peter Pan in drag!!!

Ah, yes, so much Nostalgia overload—
I still remember every nuanced phrase
“It’s a Laaaaaady!!! It’s a Beautiful Lady!!!”

Can you say: Gender Bender!—
Can you say: “Oh my mysteeeerious laaaady!!!”
“What is your naaaame?”

Cyril Ritchard in the Metropolitan Opera—
He played in “La Perichole” and later as
Elron in “The Hobbit” (1977)

Now this scene looks so perverted—
But it was so funny back when I was a kid
A flamboyant pirate who likes to get beat up!

An actress in drag playing—
A little boy in drag, passing himself off as
A woman seducing a nelly mincing pirate

"Its a laaaady!"—
And how I loved how Hook plays the flute
With a little twist of his naughty hook

It’s all so crazy like Victor/Victoria—
A woman pretending to be a man that’s
Pretending to be a woman

I loved the part where Peter—
Kicks Hook in the ass and the endless
Unwinding of the secret hidden veil forever

So, if you ever get attacked by pirates—
Just whip out your tambourine and entrance
Them with your sexy Hoochie-Koochie dancing

Looking back on it all now days—
I guess it's good after all that Peter was played
By a woman...I can’t imagine a man doing it

A woman pretending to be a boy—
Pretending to be a woman seductress...
It makes my head simply spin, my dears!

It’s got to be the gayest scene—
Other than the Tarantella in the entire movie
That’s my humble queenly opinion now days

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